oaktown therapy

Pregnancy and Infant Loss

This was not part of the plan…

Picture this! Your first positive pregnancy test. Back to back HCG lab readings confirming your wildest dreams finally coming to life. All the stress from the many doctors appointments, medications, self administered shots, retrievals and transfers, worth it! You were over the moon when you learned you were finally pregnant. All you could think about was your baby, the day you would bring your baby home, motherhood actualized. You’ve been buying little outfits here and there. You expected to have a baby. However, here comes life throwing you a major curve ball. You go in for an ultrasound and they don’t see anything, or the baby is not growing, there’s no heartbeat. Now you have an angel baby. WTF!!

mY DREAM

Pregnancy and infant loss is likely a very hard pill to swallow. You automatically received a lifetime membership to a very exclusive club that you never imagined joining. You may struggle with your grief and loss cause it feels like those around you just don’t get it.  

ACCEPTING REALITY

Maybe your partner (if you have one) doesn’t seem to get it either, because they are grieving in their own way or not at all. They may want you to move on and you simply aren’t ready to. People were supportive in the beginning but the support has started to dwindle down, people have moved on yet you feel almost paralyzed by your grief. Life keeps on moving, but for you life has come to a complete standstill. 

You are hurting to your core and that feeling is overwhelming cause you’ve never experienced anything traumatic like this in your life. You desperately want to feel understood and affirmed by someone who truly gets it. You want a space to share your grief, to express all of your emotions, and to heal without judgment or pressure to ‘move on’. Tired of crying in the shower or in your car? Someone told you about this therapist that offers support around pregnancy and infant loss and here you are looking at this page and wondering if therapy will help. 

Pregnancy or infant loss is one of the most emotionally devastating events a person will experience

You may be feeling A RANGE OF EMOTIONS OR NUMBING THEM CAUSE IT’S TOO RAW. It can be difficult to talk about your loss, even with your partner, FAMILY OR FRIENDS. Though well-meaning, your friends and family may not know how to comfort you or understand what it’s like to lose a child. THEY MAY SAY THINGS THAT MAKE YOU WANT TO THROAT PUNCH THEM. THE PLATITUDES ARE THE WORST! You may laugh at the thought of there being a light at the end of the tunnel; everything feels so dark. Whether your loss occurred early or late in your pregnancy, or during/after birth, your feelings are real and your love for your baby is valid. Those feelings need to be expressed and released. It’s so important to get it all out, to have the hard conversations— to forgive, to love, and make meaning of your loss.

Feelings and issues that may arise around an infertility diagnosis:

  • Disbelief, you are in excellent health

  • Stressed by the care you’ve received from your medical provider

  • Feel like your body has failed you

  • Constant worry that you may not be able to become a mother

  • Overanalyzing and consulting Dr. Google to understand your diagnosis and prognosis

  • Anger watching gender reveals on social media

  • Negative thoughts or self-talk

  • Hopelessness

  • Jealousy of other women who seem to get pregnant so easily

  • Isolating from your support network cause you think they’re tired of hearing about your problems

  • Anxiety around the thought of TTC

teletherapy is available

Healing after pregnancy or infant loss is possible

Navigating life after pregnancy and infant loss can be a significant challenge when there are many mixed messages about grieving. After a devastating loss, there can be undue expectations to bounce back to normalcy within weeks or months. there is no "right" or "wrong" way to feel during this time. Grief is a complex and individual process, and each person will navigate it differently. It's imperative to be compassionate and patient with yourself and to recognize that healing takes time. Therapy after pregnancy and infant loss will assist parent(s) in navigating their feelings of pain and to find meaning and purpose in their lives.

Therapy provides a healing space for you to work through your grief and other intense feelings that you probably haven’t been comfortable saying out loud. I will guide you through this process in a way that feels safe and honors the loss of your baby. As I often say, there is no time line to grief, no finish line.

Whether your loss occurred during pregnancy or after birth, whether you have lost one pregnancy or suffered through recurrent losses, I am here to support you as you make meaning of your loss and how to live your new normal.

Pregnancy and infant loss support is available to those individuals who reside in California and are able to commit to weekly sessions.


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